All posts tagged: Personal

Letters on Tues(Thurs)days – Departures

Dear Wilton, The shift in delivery from Tuesday to Thursday has been unintentional. With the holidays coming up, my schedule has been packed full, both inside and outside of work. In many ways holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, are about reunions and returns, however I wish to take up the topic of departures. It is the opposite side of the same coin; to return and reunite means that you are departing from somewhere, some place you currently are. Therefore, it is not necessarily an unrelated or opposing topic. Finally, I am sure it is a poignant topic for you, as our family returns to Taiwan after 20 years abroad. It is always hard to imagine leaving a place for good, or even for a few years. You might not know it, but bonds are easily developed and can quickly thicken. Like roots, they hold you in place and they want to hold you in place. Yet, you will find as you approach and finally go into your twenties, departures become more frequent. The bonds you develop …

Letters on Tuesdays – Defining Success

Image used cause my friend, pictured above, is a very successful man. I am sure you remember him. Dear Wilton, Last week I wrote about failure and accepting failure. In light of the previous discussion, it would make sense to discuss success. Yet, I do not believe we ever talked about how you defined success or what you saw as success. I remember when I was your age, thirteen years ago, I believed that success consisted of a few things: the best grades in class, the most friends, and the most athletic. Some of my friends, if they knew what I thought, would probably laugh at how absurdly unsuccessful I was and, to be honest, I am chuckling to myself right now at how absurd  my definition of success was. Yet, this might very well be how you are seeing success right now: getting that A in class, getting into that boarding school. You see, like failure with its internal and external components, success can either be defined by you or by people other than you. …

Unexpectedly

Goes by hand Hand that used to be sand. It goes to a dozen numbers Around. Watching it Slowly. Turning away Quickly. Yet It brings everything. The one thing that matters. To be suddenly caught Standstill. Like the wind it knocks Over. Or, pull the metaphorical rug Under.

面對自己的過去

一個人處理事情的方式, 往往會受到過去經歷過的事影響 一個人的個性也如此 二十幾年來我沒有清楚的認知到底為什麼我會這麼沒有安全感 這麼害怕失去 讓我沒有辦法好好對待自己與我愛的人 因為我沒辦法接受空間也因為覺得會被拋棄而容易失去自信 與一位好朋友的對話讓我第一次如此清醒地了解到我的問題 1993年 當年我媽帶著我和妹妹們去上海找我爸 那時候我也已經有大概有半年到一年沒見過我爸 在好不容易全家團聚不久後 我卻又一個人被送回台灣 因為我爸有回台灣工作的可能而我也需要上小學了 所以只有五歲的我就被先送回去 雖然說我跟我姑姑一起住 我在她當老師的學校上課 可是她很忙 我的同學也一放學就回家 於是我常常就只能一個人 那時候 印象最深的就是一個人自言自語 玩石頭抓蚯蚓抓昆蟲 還有在課堂上莫明其妙大哭 說要找我媽 從那時候我就開始覺得我一直是一個人 很需要別人的愛與關懷但是又得不到 就算身邊有家人有朋友也一樣 覺得沒有人懂我需要什麼 當然我家人都很寵我而且我又是長子長孫 我也很愛也很感謝大家 但是那麼小就與爸媽分離的我 在需要與妹妹們分享注意與關懷的情況下 已經完全失去了安全感 而也深深影響到我之後與朋友的關係 國中高中到大學也如此 但我根本沒察覺 只是無謂的一直生氣和破壞建立起的自信 我現在覺悟 我也希望改 不然對事業對愛情對家人我都是不可能做到最好 也無法為身邊的人帶來快樂 那 你們的故事是什麼?