All posts tagged: Bilingual

記

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I’m a mad man traversing this wasteland. The sun scorches with invisible thermals that even birds burn. 一步一步 screams of mental anguish, 荊棘遍體 binding all the things I carry. 沒想過黑暗也可以是豔陽. No shadows but they drag on long and dark from my heart. I’m mad, burned by circumstance, burned by undernourishment, burned by 沙漠夜裡的冰風. 不一定要山脈才有peaks and valleys. Desolation of this desert wasteland produces the same whipsaw of edges. Jagged, 我還是向前走, I need to and I want to. Eyes up 我不在乎腳底, 我的心輕盈, 望著飄在遠方的雲. They are beckoning. 是不是有久未降臨的甘露? I don’t know 也沒有期待. I’m gazing towards where I need to be. Where I hope to be. 一切也不過如此 midway through this journey we call life 我並不迷失, having walked beyond the dark forest. 但我承認我還是會怕, 怕我看到曇花一現的 mirage. 我嘗過的甘露 might just be there beyond the horizon, under the cumulus. I can just feel the zephyr 安撫著傷疤, 帶走內心的 anguish. 就算真的是海市蜃樓 the clouds will still be there. 我也還是會繼續, 我不可能放棄 as I figure out how to shed these things that I carry.

Reflections 2024-2025

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This is way overdue. I had intended to put some ink to paper in January. This year, I want to try something different. I want to write in my natural state of mind, so my English readers, please bear with me as I switch to my inner bilingual universe. 這兩年應該算是我這一生中最tough最低潮的 period. Getting laid off without any notice or any support 是我想也沒想過的結果. The whole team in New York basically disappeared. 剩下的那位 I’m not going to talk about. If you know, you know. My personal life also changed pretty significantly. 住了7年半的家也搬了. I basically got forced out 因為房東想把房子收回. Yet, there was a verbal agreement that because they wanted me out as soon as possible, I can cut my lease short as soon as I found an appropriate place. 但搬的時候卻被要求要 finish the lease terms. I ended up paying two rents for two months. 最後連 security deposit 也不還我. This was after providing a glowing tenant recommendation to my new landlady. 我把 apartment當成自己家照顧 but this was how I got treated after being a model tenant for 7 years. Sometimes, life gives …

Why I Write

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In my life of twists and turns, 我沒想到我現在可以用中文. I turned to experimenting with writing in Chinese six years ago. I started to incorporate pieces of it into my work – something more representative of the amalgamation that is me. Spoken word became more of a medium I explored. 從 “三歲離開台灣” 到 “回家”, 每一篇都是我獨特的中西合併, 語言摻雜的作品. Again, it functions as a mental puzzle. Every rhyme, every cadence was a hurdle to overcome. 如何讓中英押韻, not just random add-ins, 一種和平的共鳴, like the peace I started finding.